(CRACKING THE COMMUNICATION CODE PART 1) La Comunicación en el Matrimonio, Communication in a Marriage


During the past holiday, I started reading a book that's intended to help improve the communication in a marriage. I love what I have learned so far, and today I will be sharing an excerpt of it. I believe that after God, marriage should be considered the second most important and sacred gift in the life of a married person. After 20 years of being married, still loving my husband more than yesterday, and he also loves me equally the same, I believe it is a great blessing from God. So what I've learned, read and feel that has helped me, I'll be sharing via this blog so that you too can benefit.


This does not mean that our marriage will be free of stress, disagreements and tensions. My husband and I do argue about certain things, we get angry about habits, practices that we do not like of each other and may sometimes hurt each others feelings unintentionally. In time and through prayer we have learned to communicate and deal with our problems. It is impossible to have have all the answers to fix ALL your problems, but as time goes by you'll acquire more knowledge and will learn to live with love and respect.

For over three decades,  Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, has been a pastor, marriage counselor and conference speaker for married couples. He is the author of "Cracking the Communication Code", and learned in effect, that wives speak the language of "love", and husbands the language of "respect". Even though they had a good marriage, they had their difficulties dealing with problems such as irritability, anger and insults. Often failing to communicate and did not understand why. It used to seem that really spoke different languages, but had no idea what to do about it. It was frustrating. After all, he was pastor, and clearly would have to know the answer! Fortunately, God revealed a Bible passage to Dr. Eggerichs, Ephesians 5:33 - "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

Ephesians 5:33  is a clear command that God has given us, one can see the "connection of love and respect." God has commanded the husband to love his wife because she needs love and respect and in fact she "speaks love." Love is the language that women understand and when the husband speaks to us without love, we tend to react with words that do not show respect. God commands the wife to respect her husband, because he needs respect and in fact he "speaks respect." Respect is the language that men understand, but when his wife speaks with no respect the husband tends to react with little words of love. That's why many of us have been going round and round in the Crazy Cycle, each saying things that were just the opposite of what the other needs.

I totally agree with "Love and Respect" in the communication of marriage as it is the base of a healthy marriage. What is your opinion about this Bible verse and how Dr. Eggerich has interpreted it?




Lo siguiente es un poco del libro que empecé a leer durante las pasadas vacaciones. Siempre me gusta leer y enseñar sobre mejorar el matrimonio. Para mí, después de Dios, el matrimonio debe ser lo más importante y sagrado en la vida de una persona casada. Al cumplir 20 años de casada y aun amar a mi esposo como el primer día, y él amarme a mí por igual es una gran bendición de Dios. Por eso lo que he aprendido, leído y siento que me ha ayudado, lo compartiré por medio de este blog para que ustedes también puedan beneficiarse.


Esto no significa que nuestros matrimonios estarán libres de estrés, desacuerdos y tensiones. Mi esposo y yo tenemos aun discusiones sobre ciertas cosas y nos enojamos por hábitos y prácticas que no nos gustan. Pero hemos aprendido a comunicarnos y enfrentar nuestros problemas. Uno nunca lo sabrá todo de cómo arreglar sus problemas, pero cada vez uno va aprendiendo más y aprende a vivir con amor y respecto.




Por más de tres décadas como pastor, consejero matrimonial y disertante en conferencia para matrimonios Dr. Emerson Eggerichs autor del libro “Cracking the Communication Code”, aprendió en efecto que, las esposas hablan el idioma del amor, y los esposos “el idioma del respeto”. Su esposa y él, aprendieron por experiencia propia que hablaban idiomas diferentes. Aun que tenían un buen matrimonio, les costaba lidiar con problemas como la irritabilidad, el enojo y las ofensas. Muchas veces no lograban comunicarse y no entendían porque. Solía parecerles que en verdad hablaban idiomas distintos, pero no tenían idea de que hacer al respecto. Era frustrante. Después de todo, él era pastor y ¡claro que tendría que conocer la respuesta! Afortunadamente, Dios le revelo un pasaje bíblico a Dr. Eggerichs, Efesios 5:33 dice…."En todo caso, cada uno de ustedes ame también a su esposa como a sí mismo, y que la esposa respete a su esposo."

Este es un claro mandamiento Efesios 5:33 que nos ha dado Dios, uno puede ver la “conexión de amor y respeto”. A él esposo, Dios le manda a amar a su esposa porque ella necesita amor y respeto y de hecho “habla amor”. El amor es el idioma que nosotras entendemos y cuando el esposo nos habla sin amor, tendemos a reaccionar con palabras carentes de respeto. A la esposa, Dios le manda respetar al esposo, porque él necesita respeto. De hecho “habla respeto”. Respeto es el idioma que el hombre entiende, pero cuando la esposa le habla sin respeto el esposo tiende a reaccionar con palabras escasas de amor. Por eso es que muchos de nosotros hemos estado dando vueltas y más vueltas en el ciclo de la locura, cada uno diciendo cosas que eran todo lo contrario de lo que el otro necesita.

Estoy totalmente de acuerdo con "Amor y Respeto" en la comunicación del matrimonio ya que es la base principal en una unión sana. ¿Que opinas tu sobre este versículo y de como es interpretado a por Dr. Eggerich?


Have a blessed week,

5 comentarios:

  1. There is great dignity in a Christian marriage: "Ye husbands likewise, dwell with them according to knowledge, as with a weaker, even the female, vessel, giving them honour, as also fellow-heirs of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered", 1 Peter 3: 7.

    "Salvador mori por salvarme!" - does that make sense?

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  2. David - yes, it does. Great verse, reminding us that a good relationship is needed so that our prayers may not be hindered. It is one of my husband's favorites.

    Have a blessed afternoon,
    Mari

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  3. Mari,

    I agree that husband should love the wife and that wife should respect the husband. But, even if the husband does not do what the Bible says, she must pray for strength to respect (as it can be very challenging) she should obey the words in 1Peter 3.

    God bless you!

    ~ Mrs. A

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  4. The Angulo"s - Amen! Wonderful addition Mrs.A. That's the most important thing we need to do... constantly pray for our husband, I didn't know that until a few years ago, if only I new this earlier how many mistakes I would have avoided.

    Thanks for sharing this verse.

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  5. Hola Mari!
    Te felicito por el post,es muy bueno.Yo tambien pienso que lo más importante en la vida de una persona debe ser primero Dios y segundo el matrimonio.
    Mi libro favorito es la Biblia y como segundo "Creada para ser su ayuda idonea" de Debi Pearl,sobre como lograr matrimonios divinos como a nuestro Padre Celestial le gustaria que tuviesemos con nuestros esposos,se lo recomiendo.
    Saludos,
    Madi

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